Tue. Nov 12th, 2024

Some politicians are great storytellers. When I think of great political orators I think of Cicero, Patrick Henry, and Eddie Murphy in the film The Distinguished Gentleman.

Missing the list by a considerable margin is Joe Biden. His storytelling lately has been, let’s go with, bahckscludihnblockh, or maybe confusing is a better word.

Today during a speech to a live audience Biden said, “She was 12, I was 30. But anyway.” Oh my.

He said this in the middle of speech when he saw someone in the crowd. He went off script to say hi to the woman, saying they go “way back” in one line, then going right to the gem “I was 30, she was 12.” So don’t give me out-of-context pushback. The context is simple. He said it quick and moved on. Nothing to see here, right?

But who has a story that includes the need to say, “”She was 12, I was 30. But anyway?” I can’t imagine telling a story that would have that. When Biden was 30, he was not a sixth-grade teacher, so that’s out in way of explanation. 12-year-old kids don’t work/volunteer on campaigns, that’s out too. He wasn’t still a lifeguard, I certainly hope.

This one is a little creepy. The difference between 30 and 12 is jail. No one disagrees with that. So, let’s help out the president.

Maybe he was going to say- She was 12, I was 30. But anyway, the Girl Scouts cookies I ordered were delicious.

Or maybe- She was 12, I was 30. But anyway, I’ll always remember her testimony on school lunch programs.

Or maybe- She was 12, I was 30. But anyway, it was a dark time in a forgotten land and, no, no, no, I don’t like this one at all.

If there’s any crime here, it could be- She was 12, I was 30. But anyway, we made a small fortune by points shaving in youth basketball leagues, and that’s before the BetMGM app.

This last one could very well be the answer we seek- She was 12, I was 30. But anyway, we cornered the market together on chocolate chocolate chip ice cream.

I don’t know if this was helpful. Biden is losing it.